a few words for the lovers & the believers

Don't expect her to paraphrase her life for you;
She was born to be a story.
And if you can't understand that;
then perhaps she's beyond your reading level.

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I wan't you.
All of your flaws, all of your imperfections,
Your laughter, your light, your jokes, your sarcasm.
The dusty corners of the darkest parts of your soul.
I want all of you, everything. I just want you.
~~~~~~
I want the parts of you that you refuse to show anyone else.
Trust me with your heart & I will be forever yours.
~~~~~~
Just be yourself.
Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, weird, quirky, beautiful, magical
person that you are. Don't hide your heart from the world. Because once they see
what I see, they will fall so hopelessly in love with you.
Just like i did. 
~~~~~~
Let your heart be your compass when you're lost;
and follow it wherever it may go.
~~~~~~
I remember the day I looked into your eyes & felt my entire world flip. You are my
beginning and end, you where the end of life as I knew it & the beginning of the
best person I would ever hope to be.
~~~~~~

who do you want to be?

It is one of life’s most perplexing questions; 

‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ 

I think the answer to this seems just that slight bit out of reach to many of us because it is so immense & so final. At such a young age, when we are just beginning to work out WHO we are, or maybe more so even just who we want to be, we are expected to choose a path that will potentially define our entire future... pretty bloody big if you ask me.

As children when we are asked this big huge immense question of what we want to be and we answer with doctor, vet, football player or writer. We answer with jobs that we want - but why don't more of us define what we want to be when we grow up by the way we want to feel? How many respond with I want to be happy or I want to feel loved... Why are we not taught that the most important thing we should be in life is happy? To feel that warmth in your heart that makes each day worth it? Life is going to be bumpy as all hell, there will be some dark days when that warm feeling is just a distant memory, so if you know what the reward is on the other side then the journey through all the muck will be worth it...

So, I think maybe this is the wrong question to be asking... Maybe what they should be asking is; Who do you want to be? What do you love to do? What makes you happy right now? Once you know the answer to these questions, I think the answer to this apparently very important question may be a little clearer. The steps that you should take next & what you should do in order to be the person you want to be. 

As a young adult, there is a great burden placed on our shoulders to make a decision that will change the course of the rest of our lives. As a young adult, who hasn’t yet figured out who he or she is yet, I would like to ask the parents & the teachers who are responsible for asking this question & demanding that we know the answer – If we do not know who we are, or what we want our lives to mean - then how can we know what we want to do, and further more, why does it matter? Should who we are and who we are going to be for the rest of our lives not be of greater importance? The impact that we have the potential to make on the world weighs greatly on whether we become a person who truly lives or whether we simply exist. 

I am yet to figure out what it is that I want to do or what it I that I am going to create, but what I do know for absolute certain, is that knowing who you are or who you want to be is far greater than knowing what job you want to do. When you know the type of person you want to be, you have to consciously choose to be that person every day.

You don’t need to change the world over night, but you owe it to yourself to be the kind of person you want to be, to find whatever it is that makes your soul come alive, that makes your heart sing, to find a way to change YOUR world. Without happiness there is no light, there is no joy or love. You never know when you will change someone else’s world, if only for a minute just by following your heart, just by being true to yourself.

secret truths about an independent girl

This one is going to be different. I can promise you that. But I can also promise that you won’t ever be uninspired or bored - this is the girl who will change you, she won’t ever take your shit, and you’ll be a better man because of it. 

She comes across as a paradoxical mix of outgoing but introverted, very social but seldomly out. When you’re so used to not needing anyone, you know exactly who you are, and she’ll never fake anything because of it. This makes maintaining relationships a constant struggle for her. She’ll connect with many, and they’ll quickly feel comfortable with her, but it takes her a while to feel fully comfortable, so she can only take being around others incrementally.

This might frustrate you. There seem to be so many walls to break down. Just when you start to feel like you’re figuring her out - you find another piece to the puzzle that throws everything off. Be patient. She’s this tough because she had to be. Something happened that taught her to never need anyone. Someone she needed left before she was done needing them. But none of this will spill out easily. She’s extremely uncomfortable with other people seeing her vulnerable or in pain. Her emotions and pain are hers, and this is what she’s used to. 

She’ll tell herself she doesn’t need you. She’ll make situations worse by trying to suppress her feelings about them. When you fall for the girl who’s used to not needing anyone, believe that she has more feelings and layers than she knows what to do with. Her instinct will be to try to compose herself. When she does open up to you, it’severything. Being emotionally naked with someone is how she expresses her love. 

She’ll know exactly who she is and what she wants. When you’re used to not needing anyone, you do what you want, when you want, and without asking permission or informing anyone. She loves this part of her identity, but she secretly wants you to confront her. She’s hoping that sometimes, you’ll put your foot down, and challenge her stubborn ways. 

She’s strong, maybe even too strong for you at first. Don’t let this fool you. This is her outer shell. Her armor. She is so used to taking care of herself that it's going to be hard for her to let someone else in. It took a lot of work to get to where she is: Independent, taking no shit and being happy on her own. She's afraid to let you in because she's afraid of what will happen if you might leave.

I can promise you it won’t be easy, she’ll hang on to her walls for as long as she can. She will be enigmatic. She will always want things her way, and she’ll fight you when she doesn’t get it. 

She’ll even try to push you away. This is how she protects herself.

But when you really get to know her, she’ll be the girl who will change your life. Don’t always give in to her, but be patient with her. She’s strong, but she’s also scared - scared of love, scared of needing someone, and definitely scared of you.

Because even if she says she doesn’t need you, at her core she is just a girl who has more love than she knows what to do with.

a moment in time

I believe that there is a defining moment in life; a moment of unrelenting, slap in the face clarity, when you are faced with the reality of how all of the the choices you are making are shaping the future you will have. And in that moment you have a choice, stay or go? Look around you, is this the life you want?  Is this the person you want to love? Are you the person you want to be? Who you where meant to be? Is this what you wished for, what you dreamed of?  Because if it’s not, if what you want & what you wished for is something more then I guess the next question you are faced with, is; what are you going to do about it? What are you going to do to get what you wished for, how are you going to change your world? What are you willing to sacrifice in order to make your world everything you ever dreamed it could be. 

Life is a wonderful and terrible & short and endless thing and none of us come out of it alive. This is your one and only life, each day the sun will rise and set whether you're ready for it or not. So what are you going to make of the day, this beautiful day you have been gifted, because the clock is ticking & you cant wind it back. You can choose to focus on the things you don't have, the money you don't have, the relationship you don't have, the job you didn't get, you can choose to live in the negative and live your life full of pity & envy OR you can live your life full of gratitude, love and happiness. Look for the positive in every situation, it might be so small that a person who isn't looking for it might miss it, but if you can find it, trust me, it will change you. I think we have lost site of the beauty in life because we are so programmed to instantly jump to the bad. You are not defined by the job you have, the money you have, the car you drive or the clothes you wear. If you are a good person, a good friend, a good husband or wife, father or mother, if you give love & joy to the world; that is what defines you. 

It is never too late to be the person you where meant to be, to be better & do better. So tell the person you love how you feel, quit the job you hate and find a new one, call an old friend and actually go for that coffee, be kinder to others, to yourself. Be happy.